Sunday, October 6, 2013


I'm a word girl. Ever since I could talk I was doing too much of it, and once I perfected forming my letters I had a story to tell. Whether that story was true, or just ever so slightly embellished was not the point; it was that I had the art of language and I knew how to use it. Drawing? Not so much. "Art" consisted of stick figures in precarious positions, or the ever-glamorous "collages" which were basically just a hodgepodge of JTT cut outs or Seventeen magazine words that 'spoke to me' at that moment or some shit. You know the crap I'm talking about. But there are some moments in life that even I can't seem to find a way to describe what's happening, or how I feel about it. So I've left that job up to a few pictures in order to best describe this phase of my life: 

High School Graduation 2003. 

College Graduation 2009 (I'm second from left). Movin' on up. 

        There is no good picture of me either at my job or in a boot and crutches, so the pictures above and below describe the last 6 months of my life post-fall. 

Applying for Unemployment October 6, 2013

Applying for Obamacare October 6, 2013

I originally looked through these photos during a moment of shame. Shame that I had come so far and it had amounted to so little. The rise and fall of success, I had muttered to myself. But I realized that that only depends on what you consider Success. Is it graduating from High School, and then graduating from College? Is it having a job, or having authority at your job? Does it even matter if you like your job? Is it setting your alarm for 5 am, making a sub-par cup of coffee and rushing off to work before the sun even rises? Is it having 200 channels on your TV, or being able to afford Starbucks instead of WaWa?  Suddenly I have found myself in a place where I need to re-evaluate my qualifications for success.  I now count myself among the millions of Americans without a job and the opportunity to apply for Obamacare; does this mean I am a tarnished person? Someone who has lost at this game of a "successful" life? I mean that's how America sees me. A drain on your income---> you are paying taxes because I need healthcare and income. (P.S. Thanks for that.)
The notion of what makes me feel successful has been creeping up ever so slowly over the last few years. And life has given me an opportunity to re-evaluate that. To slow down: rise with the sun, make an excellent cup of coffee, savor it quietly and at ease, take longer showers, slower walks, to just stare out the window. I strongly believe the art of just being has been lost on us.
 Life has handed me a Time-Out. There is no better time than the present to learn the art of savoring, slowing, staring. So, right now, my only measurement of success is whether or not I took the time to be grateful that day, to slow down and not let life pass me by. To take pictures and count my blessings. To perfect the art of just being. 

Unemployment/Time-Out Day 1

1. Apply for Health Insurance
2. Look for jobs.
3. Just stare out the window for a little while. Notice how good it feels. And don't even feel guilty about it.  


Kelli said...

Love you just as much as I love your blog! Success is measured in different ways, not just material-wise. You've been successful since day 1! You're a star

Jaimerbees said...

Oh how i remember that unemployment site. were you able to get a good price for coverage on the healthcare? my husband's friend was able to get his 42 year old sister a plan for 20 a month (after subscities-spelling? i dont know how they work anyway) i wish my health care was 20 a month.